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Bahaya Gambar Di Internet>>Lawak Jugak

Kenapa orang selalu bagitahu bila gambar kita dipostkan dekat internet banyak berlaku dan selalunya gambar lucah digunakan tapi ini lain dari yang lain.

 Harap maapkan la Dean kalau ada yang terasa. Saya amik dari Blog blogger kita dan saya saja postkan supaya kita dapat kongsi keterlawakkan yang akan berlaku sebentar lagi..!














Harap korang terhibur dan thanks pada model diatas kerna sudi possing cantik!

thanks..please komen gambar diatas..



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A story from a husband

>To my married and unmarried friends:
>This is a very touching story, please read it slowly, I’ve read it more
>When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
>On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in
>front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of
>car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and
>I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
>This was the scene ten years ago.
>The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I
>went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
>steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a
>servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the
>time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
>Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more
>likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
>Dew came into my life.
>It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
>  My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the
>apartment I bought for her.
>Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her
>suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said,
>Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
>Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
>But I couldn’t help doing so.
>I moved Dew’s hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.?
>ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because
>had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of
>became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to
>However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
>mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
>Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
>I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
>TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew’s
>This was the means of my entertainment.
>One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what
>will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently
>she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t
>imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
>When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
>staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something
>while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled
>my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
>Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
>together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
>When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I’ve got something to
>tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt
>her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
>know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic
>She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
>I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry.
>She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
>That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
>to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her
>satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
>With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
>she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced
>at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman
>had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I
>could not take back what I had said.
>Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to
>see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
>had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
>Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
>writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
>she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
>She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me,
>I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the
>s time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple:
>son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t want him
>to see our marriage was broken.
>She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
>still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This
>question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I
>and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I
>a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we
>divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the
>bedroom to the door every morning.
>I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to
>end her marriage romantically.
>I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
>thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the
>result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me
>My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
>explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
>carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped
>behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
>of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked
>over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly,
>Let us start from today, don’t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat
>upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I
>to the office.
>On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
>  We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
>that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I
>found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her
>On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
>demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
>On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
>an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
>visualization of Dew became vague.
>On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
>she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
>The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about this.
>I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
>stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was
>picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few
>but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
>grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she
>thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I
>knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense
>of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
>Our son came in at the moment.Dad , it’s time to carry mum out. He said.
>him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part
>his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
>turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
>minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
>room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I
>held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much
>lighter weight made me sad.
>On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
>son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your
>arms until we are old.
>I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn’t notice that our life
>lacked intimacy.
>I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any
>delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the
>door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.
>She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
>She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say
>sorry to you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably
>she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love
>other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home,
>gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I
>to say sorry to you.
>Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
>door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
>When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife
>which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.
>smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.

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Nyaris Siapa Yang Berkuku Panjang..!!

Dikatakan bahawa menyimpan sebatang jari kuku
yang panjang, dosanya sama
seperti memelihara sekandang babi, jika kesemua
jejari kita menyimpan kuku
yang panjang….bayangkanlah dosa yang telah
kita tanggung untuk kesemua
babi-babi tersebut….potonglah kuku anda.

The Truth
Jangan simpan kuku panjang walaupun hanya 1 mm
atau pun hanya jari
kelingking. Bagi orang Islam adalah tidak sesuai
berkuku panjang atas apa
alasan sekalipun kerana ia tidak membayangkan
kesucian dan ia juga bukan
budaya kita apatah lagi menggunakan tangan untuk

Orang Melayu yang berkuku panjang biasanya
mempunyai anak yang bodoh atau
pun degil dan suka melepak sebab diberi makan
bahan kotor yang berada di
kuku jari emaknya semasa menyediakan makanan
seperti memerah santan kelapa,
buat cokodok pisang, uli tepong, dll. Apa ilmu
pun yang di ajar pun tak
akan boleh diterima masuk ke dalam kepala.

Pasal tabiat berkuku panjang inilah yang
membuatkan orang Melayu mundur dan
tidak berjaya. Syarikat Melayu yang bangkrap dan
rugi teruk adalah kerana
mempunyai pekerja dan pemilik yang berkuku

Untuk yang bujang beringatlah. Kalau hendak cari
pasangan dan hendak anak
yang pandai dan mendengar kata pilihlah wanita
atau lelaki yang sentiasa
berkuku pendek. Insya-Allah.

And additional info, kuku panjang mempunyai
sejenis kuman seperti yang
terdapat dalam najis manusia, iaitu E-Coli.
Kuman tersebut tidak akan
hilang walaupun kita mencuci tangan dengan
sabun. Oleh itu, sentiasalah
berkuku pendek untuk kesihatan dan kebersihan
diri sendiri.

Wallahu’alam bissawab.

Taqiyuddin Bin Ruslan

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Kalo Terjatuh…


1. kalo tersepak batu: Jangan terus bangun, sebaliknyer anda baring dan trus

berguling-guling hingga jauh dari perhatian ramai…lepas tu baru bgn bila

takde org nampak..

2. kalo terjatuh beskal: cepat2 naik beskal anda semula dan jatuhla lagi

sehingga berkali-kali supaya org ingat anda saje2 buat lawak…

3. kalo terjatuh tangga: trus bersilat seolah-olah anda dirasuk atau sedang

berlawan dgn makhluk halus…

4. kalo terjatuh dlm longkang: pungutlah sampah yg ada sambil marah2 dgn suara

yg kuat, pasti org menyangka anda seorg yg amat prihatin terhadap


5. kalo jatuh ketika nk naik bas: jeritlah kuat2..”oi! apa tolak2 ni?”

walaupun tiada org di blakang anda….

6. kalo terjatuh di dpn bus stop: terus buat2 pengsan sehingga ada org

membantu anda..kalo takde..baring trus sampai mlm dan takde org lagi kt bus

stop tu…haa…ni lah masa sesuai utk bangun semula….

7. kalo jatuh tergelincir kt lantai licin: tarik la kawan (atau sesiapa yg ada

kt sebelah anda) utk jatuh bersama-sama supaya tak lah anda sorang je yg dpt

malu…ye tak?….
ahir sekali gelak sampai mamposss………..


hang ikut lah petua ni gerenti xmalu nye;-)

Comments (2)